Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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