ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
my shit smells like andre
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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