omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
