While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
