Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
