i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
