I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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