Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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