The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
