things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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