Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize