Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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