Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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