well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
