i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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