When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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