Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
