We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just want to make out with him forever
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
