therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
