Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
