I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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