It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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