planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
