Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Vodka?
Forever.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize