Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
