Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
