She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
