she takes plan B like it's going out of style
ugly people sure do ruin things
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Your cock deserves a montage
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
