just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
