Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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