i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
