dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
