Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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