So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
two words...techno handjob
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
