so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
