I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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