direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
