The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
