last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
It's like God shit irony all over that family
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
