I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
