also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
