Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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