I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I came so hard my ears popped.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
