these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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