No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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