absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
