I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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