i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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