At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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