that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
