What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
