I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
