Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
