its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
