Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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