she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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