sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I have fence marks all over my body
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Oh god it's open bar.
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