i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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