So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Randomize
