Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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