Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
